Live This Way

Without we realize, we are all suffocating inside

we might look okay apparently

even introvert people started to taste emptiness and loneliness

even we are surrounded with friends, parents, siblings, spouse or kids

the feelings still there

I can't imagine how terrible people feel living alone, no one accompany

it kills slowly

our normal lifestyle being denied

we can't visit our friends

no lepaking at kedai makan anymore

some people even don't meet their parents for like a year or more than that

it's horrible

back in 2019, no one having idea that this pandemic will be this bad

are we take previous years for granted?

People are dying

If last year, we heard about people on the other place lost their families, 

but now, it's getting nearer

hospital are full with people carrying lethal disease, some untreated

Some people struggle to put food on table everyday

Some are fired, some lost courage to start over

too much tears flooding

too much tribulation 

but guess what,

fighting this turbulent is not worse than dealing with people behavior

our patience and faith being tested every single days

lot of bad news and issues lingering everyday, strike us in a row

How exhausted it was

everyone is struggling

even there is some silver lining on the other hand but trust me, 

each of us got our own struggle, 

and silent battle that we didn't speak about

alhamdulliah thumma alhamdulliah

personally, I'm not so much affected with this pandemic (in term of surviving mentally and emotionally)

maybe this is due to how familiar it was, from the recent years

maybe it just "live this way" for me

same feelings I have encountered

everyday try new thing to get rid of that feelings

it might not gone completely

but slowly fading away

what do I do to overcome those uncomfortable predicaments that keep coming?

nothing much I can do 

I just started to read books

Finished 3 books for twenty twenty one, other 3 books on the way  wallawehhh!!

it's quite fascinating for me considering myself who are NOT an avid bookworm

I started to bake since months ago, even it's not my forte

I'm not into sweet things, and the process before and after is renyah oso..

but I still did it

Do it till u like it yeah!!

emmm, that is all

the rest is just let the day passed by

always finding something new, just to distract my self 

trying to keep sane & contented

*btw, I'm considering to get myself a white-pinky mini bike 

that has rattan basket in front so that I can go cycling & feeling-feeling cute at the same time. 

Once I get it, I will definitely flex it here okay 😜😘

Untold Sour

Do people realize that when they catch feelings for someone, 

they tend to make themselves visible in someone's eyes

they want that particular special human being to see, 

how their life's going

how they mingle with their close people

their witty, cool and attractive side

even sometimes excited to let that people notice how they looks like, their outfit in daily basis

all the stories is not for everybody, but only to 1 person to see

funny, is it?

wanting to be noticed

to be 'likeable' 

have u done that?

if u did, don't be shy

this is a cute gesture when a person feel head over heels for someone, 

nothing is wrong

even sometimes when u look back at who you were in the past, 

u will  be like

"what was that?" 

"why did I act that way?"

no one to blame except u, yourself,

just smile, at least, u had went thru that immature, simp and silly phase in your life

The feeling of 'appearing engaging' is usually happening in the very first stage in relationship

They didn't mean to be serious about getting into a relationship

It's always about YOU in the beginning

You don't really know about that 1 person on the other side

It's about controlling what u can control 

U feel insecure

U dont want people to see your flaws

U limit yourself, sometimes filter unnecessary disturbing things that might block the way 

But when the relationship slowly getting far, 

here the real game start

u will start to act other way around

Showing weakness is not a big deal anymore

True color is façade

It's about being the real YOU

The discussion is way more serious than before

No candy anymore, it's all sour all the way ~