Mat Kilau: Kebangkitan Pahlawan (review)

Haii

Hari ni aku rajin, sebab semalam ada orang suruh aku bagi review

Tulis pendek2 macam insufficient 

so kat sini ja la kut yang sesuai untuk aku merapu meraban

Hangpa layan ja la  😚

*this review contains major and minor spoiler*

*kindly watch first n jangan marah aku pulak sebab spill banyak2 kat sini hehe*

Okay.

3 perkataan untuk describe Mat Kilau?

LINEAR, PACK, FAST

If I could choose between good or genius, 

I would say this movie is mere good

It is far from genius or perhaps super intriguing 

Tak tau la kenapa aku rasa sel otak aku tak begitu diguna pakai 

untuk menghadam atau buat interpretation sendiri 

macam aku tengok cerita berunsur historical yang lain

 

Tapi tak pasti lah kalau ada kona2 or sophisticated, aku bersedia layan ka tak kan hahahha 

*BTW, aku tengok Mat Kilau tayang pukul 9.30pm, lepas habis kerja..

otak dah tepu tapi nak juga hiburan duniawi sebagai short escape gituuuu

Semua gara2 massive marketing kat social media

Kebetulan pulak sibling ajak hang out and kakak belanja..

aku sanggup walau weekdays..ibarat mengantuk disorong bantal..

Lahhh...aku merapu apa ni ishhh..abaikan*

Okay..

Kat mana yang linear, pack & fast nya? 

Okay ka tak okay sebenarnya eh?

Personally aku rasa, 

kalau sesebuah cerita tu boleh membuka ruang perdebatan, 

diskusi yang membuahkan berjenis2 output atau

menguji kebijaksanaan audience untuk interpretate maksud di sebalik setiap bait ayat,

for sure,

ia pasti sejenis cerita yang complicated and the next level punya gempak.

Tapi dalam Mat Kilau, everything is shown and told clearly on the surface 

Huraian watak, plot, storyline dia sangat direct depan muka hang

So takyah pening2 

Masuk ja cinema, hang duduk dan layan

Keluar ja lepas habis, hang komfem happy, hang rasa terhibur 

Sebab filem ni memang untuk menjamu cita rasa kita yang nakkan hiburan

Ada brief history, 

action, 

melodrama

Aiii bukan Syamsul Yusof(SY) la kalau tak mix genre

Mix of element yang bagi aku diadun sempurna ja

Semua balance, cukup rasa 

"cukup" dan "cukup-cukup"

Faham ya?

2 jam tu bagi aku agak terlalu padat

Kalau dia nak buat 2 jam 30 minit pun not too much aku rasa 

memandangkan cerita macam ni bukan selalu ada 

so nobody gonna step out and watch partially 

tapi SY pilih untuk buat 2 jam saja

Duration yang memadai supaya takda yang meleret

SY keep bagi, bagi dan bagi

Untuk orang yang kejar masa tak suka meleweh, memang fit your taste

Message yang nak disampaikan, dia keep hidang, hidang dan hidang 

Naratif nampak linear 

dan sequence dia tak cetuskan persoalan 

Having slighly panic, 

suspen & 

minor plot twist moment

Takda major plot-twist 

or teknik 'plot twist di dalam plot twist' 

Nope..at all

Sebab I lowkey predict all the plot twist in my head and it legit happened the same

Contoh mudah, pengenalan Mat Kilau dan kawan2nya

Disebabkan teknik pengenalan tu bukan baharu, 

aku seolah2 dapat agak the 3 masked guys are actually 

his sparring partner, not le enemy

Contoh lain, the revealation of tali barut

Dude, it obviously Pak Deris (A.Galak)😅

Due to his personal circumtances that shown earlier, 

it makes Pak Deris as the main suspect

It could have been "boom!!!" kalau tali barut tu bukan Pak Deris

Contoh, dalam kalangan comrade sendiri or pemimpin yang lain

But SY decided to make it easy for us to guess 

or maybe jugak takmau ambik risiko letak watak tali barut 

dalam kalangan pemimpin cuz 

we all know this is based on true event kan

Safer that way lah kan, ok understood

At last kalau perasan, dia tunjuk yang tak ada pun dalam kalangan melayu yang tinggal,

yang jenis pengecut, 

dengki, 

commit treason

wuuuuu..play safe yer SY hehe

Better camtu lah

Bukan boleh sangat benda2 sejarah ni  

kang ada yang riot di dataran merdeka pulak 

sebab buat filem memburukkan pejuang zaman penjajahan

Semua perangai teruk2 dia letak awal2 ja 

Eventually, semua perbuatan2 depa tu dibersihkan di akhir cerita

Contoh, bila Awang bertaubat, 

Khir Rahman yang lari dari medan perang pun nak "sekali" jugak 🤭🤭🤭 

*we all cuckle at this scene ngl..dia cam tibeh wkwkwwk

good to have some break after some pressure scenes kann*

Orang kampung yang give up in the beginning,

changed their mind at the very last minute

Pak Deris pun did his part very nicely the end..

Eh aku takleh la tengok muka Pak deris, sedih n kesian weh huhuhu

Apa yang dia buat tu bukan calang2 tindakan tu..huhu

Pendek kata, semua jadi murni2 saja at the end

Rushing 

Sebenarnya,

aku taktau apa yang dikejar sebab rasa macam agak rushing toward the end

Bila habis, aku rasa macam.."i want more"

The ending leaving me with uncertain possibility

"habis dah ke ni"

Aku tunggu lepas habis sebab kut2 la ada 2 ending kan

Tapi takat tu 

So aku macam...

"ohhh SY memang betul2 nak deliver message ni" sebab tu dia tak meleret2

The contrary of Orang Melayu dan Orang British

Aku faham writer nak tunjuk yang filem ni mengetengahkan kelemahan orang melayu pada awal 

dan kegagahan orang Melayu pada pertengahan dan akhir cerita

Tapi they no need to make British people look stupid either

Aku rasa spoil bila British start percaya dengan janji Awang by mulut macam tu saja 

N keep mentioning "but he promised to us"

I feel mehhh

So end up it makes us believe that British people 

is merely strong at weapon but very poor in strategy

Tiba2 Yayan Ruhian yang orang luar ni pulak nampak terlebih bijak 

dari British tambah2 bila dia mai libas

kepala orang dari atas kuda

Nampak macam contra sangat aura Toga ni dengan geng British yang serupa lembik pastu sikit2

"we have situation!!"

"we have problem"

"orang melayu tidak bersatu"

macam biasa2 ja 

Macam tak competent selaku penjajah..eh!

Cartoon-like

'Cartoon-like' elemant ni banyak gak senanya

Bila Awang auto-taubat masa kena lecture dengan Tok Gajah 

Dia terus menyesal lepas jeti kena serang 

gara2 tindakan Awang rampas senjata British yang disifatkan sebagai plan yang terburu buru

Awang bertambah menyesal lepas isteri Wahid terkorban

Dia macam takda scene reflection or anything in between 

Benda tu membuatkan kadang2 kita tak sempat nak feeling lebih2 

Tiba2, terus next scene 😅

Ala2 cerita kartun kanak2 yang menyesal lepas kena rotan...

"Awang bersalah" n cry out of regrets

N punya pemaaf nya Mat Kilau ni, takda pulak part tebus kesalahan or apa2, 

dengan mudah depa berpelukan right after the 'regret' scene

Part taubat n regret tu agak cartoon bagi aku lah n macam tak logik in real life

Tapi sebab 2 jam saja kan so tak boleh meleweh2 sangat 

Life goes on gitthew

The hugging scene lepas sesi taubat n mohon maaf tu, agak 'deep' jugak gais..

Dia macam 1 titik tolak kepada bersatunya hati2 yang dengki, jealousy n berpecah belah n we can predict, that this film is heading towards something big thenafter

Character

SY really didn't waste the main powerhouse here

Adi Putra, Beto & Fattah Amin getting their own spotlight 

Tak da la asyik focus kat watak Mat Kilau saja

Entrance semua pun bukan main lagi

Part yang depa keluar dari tempat persembunyian

lepas askar British kena perangkap hutan n bila depa kepung Ghuram Singh tu memang walahhh!

cool okay!!!

Okay untuk character ni not gonna lie

Aku memang sangat suka macam mana filem ni 

tell about the characters,

without telling us about the characters

Memang ada part yang clearly they explain character 

Contoh, para pemimpin melayu berbincang 

pasal siapa Yang fit as leader 

They do mention main element yang describe Mat Kilau iaitu

Ilmu persilatan yang tinggi & Religious

Dan Awang punya part pun ada diceritakan secara literal masa isteri Mat Kilau (Farah Ahmad)cakap, 

"tahu la kan Awang tu macam mana"

which referring to 'kalau dia cakap, memang dia buat' 

a.k.a Awang si berani n keras kepala

Yang lain2, writer tak describe n let the action speak the character

Approach yang ni aku boleh puji

Adi Putra as Mat Kilau 

Mat Kilau punya character ni, aku rasa fuhhhhh

Walaupun ramai yang cakap watak Wahid lebih menyerlah tapi bagi aku, 

ya, menyerlah tapi still Mat Kilau having his own level of immersion

Mat Kilau punya kematangan n professional tu terserlah 

Nampak kredebility dia among all

Humbleness dia tip top

Kenapa bukan Wahid paling cemerlang?

Japgi aku story

Untuk Mat Kilau

They make a way for him to become the best person who suits the leader position

Fuhhh

Cemerlang dah part tu weh

Aku sangat suka kesderhanaan yang Mat Kilau tunjukkan

Cukup rasa, penghayatan yang mendalam

His eyes do the work

Dengan tone suara yang enak 

n intonasi yang bersesuaian 

n tak berlebihan, 

Adi Putra did a great job

Memang bijak production ni tunjuk karisma n leadership Adi Putra 

setiap kali dia muncul dalam scene

Entrance scene dia mostly overshadow entrance semua orang hahhaa

ish aku tak boleh betul!!

Cool teruks part bila dia berdiri, pegang surat layang kat jeti tuhh

pastu angin slow motion tu fuhhhhh!!

Part bertapa atas batu dalam hutan n ambik air embun dari daun keladi

Tu scene paling berseni sekali aku nampak dalam filem ni..

cantik❤

Part dia confront Pak Deris tu aku tak bley lupa 

dia punya mata yang menakutkan n sedikit sinis pada senyuman, betul2 sebelum dia nak hunus keris kat Pak Deris

Subtle nuance yang aku sangat suka

Not to forget, that 'keris yang menyilau, aku digelar Mat Kilau''s part

That was smooth, daring & a smart way to expose himself as the most wanted person 

Gerakan silat dia tak da la laju or kelam kabut.. rapi ja aku tengok

Part dia berlawan, agak noticeably good di mata aku yang bukan budak silat

tambah2 masa final fight scene, 

part tusukan keris kedua yang melenyapkan Toga atas muka bumi

That was a 'woohhh' for me

Overall, Adi Putra just prove that his role is irreplacable by any other actor

Not to be bias, but u might suggest whoever you think to fit his role 

but I will just stick to Adi Putra

Beto Kusyairi as Wahid

Okay next, Wahid

Kenapa bukan Wahid paling cemerlang?

Eh Beto ni jangan sapa2 komplen yer sebab aku nak bias jugak  

he's my forever fevret Malaysian actor 😋

Bukan Beto tak cemerlang, jangan salah faham

Dia banyak lecture Si Awang which is nampak dia matang persis abang ngah

Dia loyal, selfless & carry whole nation on his back

Watak dia undeniably stunning TAPI

nampak sengaja writer create watak Wahid jadi perfectly imperfect

supaya ia tidak melebihi kekuatan yang ada pada watak Mat Kilau

Apa yang perfectly imperfect?

Kalau perasan Wahid has its own anger issue 

Di mana part dia sedikit 'terbabas' due to obvious reason

Yalah..bini hang mati depan mata tragically

Who wouldn't act the same kan?

Apa flaw Wahid?

Bila dia decide untuk serang orang British with improper plan due to emotional attach 

As expected dia ditangkap n kena belasah cukup2 dengan Toga and the geng

Aku sebak teruk part Wahid ni..

In term of sentimental n melodrama dalam sisi Wahid, sangat wajar dipuji 

Tapi I don't think Mat Kilau will act the same it happened to his family

Watak Wahid sangat vocal n he didn't hold back

He portrays all apparently yang mana sangat penting untuk sentuh hati audience 

Aku teringat watak Seo Hwi Young dalam Chicago Typewriter

Bila dapat Tau comrade dia kena tangkap n tortured badly, 

dia act cold n unbothered in front of his man tapi he did cry alone n even execute his solo move to rescue his comrade(also his own lover) without neglecting the other members' safety

Itu yang tidak dilakukan oleh Wahid 

It's understandable considering his condition pada ketika itu

Tapi kalau memang writer tak berhati2, dia boleh buat watak Wahid more outstanding

Macam mana?

Maybe kalau Wahid tak masuk terus tempat musuh tapi buat plan 2 in 1 

Bunuh penjajah n balas dendam together with his comrade

lagi power n strong watak Wahid kalau dia hold dlu n nampak unbothered 

tapi bila flashback rupanya dia yang murung n terkesan dgn apa yang jadi pada bini dia

Boleh ja depa gambarkan Wahid macam tu

Tapi tak bertepatan dengan watak Wahid yang depa perkenalkan dari awal

Sebab role Wahid bawak ni sangat expressive

Tak da hidden

Bila writer tunjuk slight flaw yang Wahid ada, 

Wahid auto tak fit for the leader position anymore 

Wahid ada charm dia sendiri yang takda pada member yang lain

Penghayatan yang unik n bahasa mata yang tak sama dengan member dia yang lain

Wahid is not under-par but incredible

But they make him not surpass Mat Kilau

Itulah decision yang paling berhati2 writer ni buat *hats off*

Fattah Amin as Awang

Ramai orang cakap dia turn 360 degree from his previous work

Tak boleh compare sebab aku tak tengok cerita dia sebelum2 ni

Tapi dalam filem ni, intonasi suara n lontaran dialog dia bagi aku biasa2 saja 

Penghayatan watak dia pun bagi aku so-so 

bila dia bercakap, tak da la nampak natural sangat

TAPI......

Bila dia berlawan n tidak bercakap, EHHHH tiba2 kau berubah jadi orang lain eh fattah????

Hahaha!!

Cool teruks weh sumpah!

Macam yang digembar gemburkan, dia ex-atlet silat peringkat kebangsaan

So filem ni kira makanan dia la gais

Memang bijak SY pilih dia 

Dari mata aku yang bukan peminat genre action,

dia punya action scene lagi smooth n laju dari Adi putra 

tapi tak da la intense macam Yayan Ruhian tapi nampak cantik ja

Dia punya identity main achery tu memang wow sangat!

Scene keluar dari permukaan air tu ada 2 kali aku perasan

Dua2 goosebump! arrrrrr aku sukaaaaa scene kat jeti ni!!!

Part anak panah berapi tu pun dia yang start kan 

Memang iconic Awang oiiii

You better do action film ja lepas ni okay...i sapot!

Yayan Ruhian as Toga

Memang lain macam aura dia eh

Dialog dia sikit ja tapi menyeramkan betul 

lontaran suara dia plus mata yang menakutkan phew!

Memang patut la jauh dia boleh pergi sampai international

Johan Asari as Yassin

Ramai yang cakap dia punya expression over

Senanya Johan bukan taste aku tapi tak bley nafikan penghayatan watak dia sampai ja 

Lontaran suara dia lagi okay dari Fattah amin 

Masa awal2 entrance dia pun not bad

Maybe something to do with facial expression 

Tapi tu bukan isu

Tu memang style dia 

Hang tengok la cerita apa pun memang gitu expression muka dia n cara dia bercakap weh

Tapi kalau nangis tu memang all out n tak control langsung eh dia 

Daripada orang serius tak pasal2 orang gelak 😂

Apa2 pun aku takda masalah dgn watak dia

Ali Karimi as Brahim

Perasan tak dalam setiap team akan ada sorang yang rilex, cool n unbothered 

Itulah Brahim 

Tapi orang macam ni selalunya yang akan keep all members on track n jenis tak gelabah kalau apa2 

Dalam diam2, dia banyak tau info2 sulit 

Harap next time dia boleh express lagi dia punya skills n lebih banyak dialog 

Untuk character yang lain, bagi aku, 2 jam tak cukup 

untuk tunjukkan kredibility semua supporting actor n actress

So depa nampak macam seolah2 cameo tapi kemunculan depa tu impactful 

Tambah2 part awal2 Ellie Suriati tu 

Dia punya suara yang menggeletar n tangisan tu 

reflect keberanian dalam ketakutan 

Tu memang the next level punya acting skills weh

Cukup untuk describe jerih perih orang dulu2 berhadapan penjajah

Farah Ahmad punya keterbukaan n supportive 

dengan perjuangan suami dia pulak menampakkan 1 sisi 

di mana memang wujud wanita yang sangat tinggi tahap kefahaman 

tentang tuntutan menegakkan agama & bangsa

Tapi ditunjukkan jugak situasi 

di mana para isteri pada waktu tu susah melepaskan suami pergi berjuang 

iaitu watak Rokiah lakonan Zarina

Itulah pengorbanan dan harga yang perlu dibayar oleh pahlawan & keluarga mereka

After all, everyone has their own responsibilty & pengorbanan masa zaman penjajah dulu

Untuk supporting actor dalam kalangan pemimpin, tu memang kekuatan filem ni

Sebab ramai orang decide untuk tengok Mat kilau ni pun salah satunya sebab kita tau kita takkan 

kecewa sebab actor semua bukan cikai2

Walaupun dialog masing2, pass one by one dan diulang2 

tapi cukup untuk kita nampak apa yang setiap sorang nak sampaikan

Nak kata preachy tu ada gak ahh macam hang dengar ceramah pasal Islam n Melayu berdegar2 tu kan

Cuma dia disampaikan dalam lakon layar oleh entiti2 yang pakai tanjak dan berbaju melayu 

Ulang 

Cakap pasal benda ulang2,

aku ada rasa spoil bila tengok part final scene 

bila arahan untuk meriam dihalakan ke arah org2 kampung 

yang diulang2 hampir 5 kali like..2 or 3 times is sufficient 

Getting annoyed with the Captain Syers on his horse 

who keep commanding to embark fire towards the opponent 

Btw, he is not really good from the start as a British leader 

sebab nampak tak da kredibility

Even our veteran line of actors lagi bagus lontaran dialog depa 

berbanding watak orang2 British yang biasa2 saja kok 

Sorry to say😓

Cut scene

Nak petik semula point awal2 tadi

Filem macam ni bagi aku agak memilih jalan singkat 

Dia punya fast-track tu macam part..

Tiba2 muncul orang kampung di sebalik hutan beramai2 attack 

macam meme "this is sparta!!" 

The filmmaker choose to skip the preparation part when orang kampung getting 

ready practicing or discussing strategy before ambush 

Takda part tu

Instead, writer decided to vanish that important element (persediaan orang2 kampung)

Like..macam mana depa berlatih with limited weapon and lack of martial skill n sapa guide? 

What happen sampai depa berubah fikiran?

None of these parts were portrayed

They bring the orang kampung into the final part 

terus langkau

so audience akan rasa macam 

"eh eh eh bukan ka depa orang2 kampung ni give up awal tadi"

Cam element surprise gituu 

Memang surprise kalau sapa2 tak tgok trailer 

Tapi sebab aku dh tengok trailer, aku cam dah agak orang2 kampung 

akan muncul bila geng2 Singh n askar2 British diarah turun beramai2 utk serang comrade mat kilau 

Aku macam..."haaa part orang melayu ambush tu komfem2 kat sini..."

Sebab tak logik ramai2 askar British tu nak lawan team Mat Kilau y sekitar 20 orang saja

Ni bukan perang Badar  

It's good to surprised the audience n aku still feeling wow jugak la.. 

Ramai tacing masa scene Wahid n wife dia

Tapi aku lagi tacing scene orang melayu keluar dari hutan.

Serious talk.

Apa2 pun memang nampak la..

yang depa nak shrink everything into 2 hours duration tayangan 

Ntah la aku pun tak tau apa situation production sampaikan nampak rushing

Atau memang intentionally SY punya pattern macam tu

Dia macam..bila hang keluar dari cinema, 

Hang akan just cakap, 

"He can do a brilliant historical film"

Instead of..

"A genius filmmaker is just born into this world" 

Get it?

SY is phenomenal and he gonna be more sensational in years coming 

The pressure to keep producing genius movie after this, is expecting 

Kekuatan

Kekuatan filem ni ada 2:

1. Line of actors & character masing2

Dialog2 oleh actors dalam trailer pun dah promising

2. Kewujudan cerita ni 

Sejarah ni ramai yang tertunggu2 gais

Tambah2 based on true story so 

'idea' untuk hasilkan filem ni pun dah tersangat istimewa n the best move from SY

Alur cerita semua fine, entertaining & sangat sesuai untuk tontonan seisi keluarga 

dari semua latar usia

Memang simply meet target-audience punya taste

Dia punya impact tu sampai berbelas2 juta kutipan lepas 4 hari tayangan as expected

Dan macam filem2 SY sebelum2 ni, banyak famous line yang trending 

Pastu tiba2, 1 malaysia 'demam-silat' hahaha

Which means this film is not a failure but a huge success 👏

Aku malas nak cakap yer pasal tehcnical n colour-grading 

sebab benda tu bagi aku tak jejas expectation aku sangat

KRU punya Magika & kebanyakan filem dari production lain rasanya lagi lawa n smooth 

Aku rasa SY pun tak focus benda2 ni 

Loghat pun dia decide untuk guna loghat biasa, bukan pure loghat Pahang 

Asal orang faham mesej n dialog, sudah

Sempoi betul 

He rather focus on message and character setiap orang

Overall, aku nak lagi cerita2 sejarah2 macam ni lagi banyak dihasilkan

Mat Kilau ni macam 1 permulaan untuk ada banyak lagi filem sejarah terhasil

Pastikan lepas ni ada adi putra n beto lagi ok 😋

Okay tu ja dari aku. 

Thanks baca

Nah photo dumps untuk hangpa 😚

Middle Child

 

Frequently people talk about being the eldest, the second child & the youngest

But rarely I witness people talking about the middle child

Middle child is actually not always an easy path
*Anyway this is not a competition of who carry the heaviest tasks
just to spit the fact about middle child that people rarely highlight about 🤭

People might say that the path is easier since the elder siblings already pave the way for us to pass thru elegantly
Couldn't agree more

But become a middle child always need u to deal with inner conflict
Be it in emotional state or mental state
It is when u need to decide either u want to follow the path
or excell in your own way or choice in life

The common things I've heard either from other people's experience
or in drama is when middle child are treated like an option and comparisons
Either it is for good reason or other way around

Have u watch Reply 1988? I haven't finished it yet but Deok-Suns's heartbreaking scenes have been shared everywhere in my explore Instagram and Twitter

Her character pretty much tell us about the untold story of middle child's inner crisis that is developed by time
that so many people take lightly since the family seems to be uproblematic and the ambience feel warm with love from the parents

In spite of the happy-family image, there's a girl whose heart is piling up with lack of love and attention

It looks silly for a teenager to break into tears like that but it's heartbreaking at the same times


Some middle child always appear the happiest and unbother
but it takes too much courage and maturity to blend into the situation cuz they thought
"it's not that bad actually"

Regardless how much things u evolve around, how many achievements u manage to unlock,
u are just expected to be a spitting image of your elder sister and brother

There's like a ready-to-use template that u need to follow in order to become a decent human being is it?🤔

Not to mention, when u are young, u always need to wear the second-hand outfit that your elder siblings aren't fit any longer hahahaha

As for the latest generation,
the album of photo is all in the smartphone while the elder siblings got full physical printed album of baby's footage 🤣

Sometimes u seems rebellious when u argue the steps taken by the elder members
but the unknown shifting desire within yourself is gonna follow it anyway cuz u think it's easier this way

Nevertheless, not everything about middle child is saddening

Sometimes middle child will always learn from the elder in term surviving and
The elder might also help us escape from repeating the same failure that they had stepped on
It's like u just getting the "do and don't" tips
in advance
Surely they saved u so many times

Regardless which numbers are we in the family, there will always a silver  lining that we oftentimes mislook and might take it for granted so let us  just be grateful cuz at least we have everything
Parents, the elder and the younger

These create a beautiful story of your life getting to experience this middle-child position cuz some people wish to have other sisters or brothers either older or younger than them
These sweet memories will be the best gift to us, middle child 🥰

Cuboid

Have u heard about the theory of 

'a wooden brick that destroys the whole building'?

I found this quote/theory on Twitter but couldn't found where did I saw it
Not in my bookmark, my likes/retweet history, picture downloaded or screenshot
I even failed to trace the idiom in Google as well😆

That is so relatable that I feel like share it

So it's actually the wooden toy set that we used to play with when we're kids
I'm not sure if u guys did remember about this
But I did played this wooden brick with my siblings and cousin during childhood

Basically the players would consist of probably 5 person and we need to put 3 cuboid on the floor vertically and put some more on top of it horizontally and make the same arrangement for about 10 rows altogether * depends on how much wooden cuboid u have*
So the game start!

First person needs to pull out one of the cuboid very carefully so that the wooden building block does not collapse
Then the second player will take turn to pull another one

Let's say a player ruin the building block, he/she will immediately kicked out off the game 😆
The remaining players will build again the balance of the cuboid and the game keep repeating until there is only 1 player left with clean record and he/she will consider the winner
The final moment of the game is the most intense part

Usually, the survivors will start to make it harder for their opponents by erasing the bottom part of the wooden building so it will reduce the stability of ground surface of the whole structure 🤣
This got me nervous every freaking time
And by pulling just one cuboid either from top, from the side or bottom, could demolish the entire wooden blocks and the game ends ~
So gaisss

Let's say that u are the winner
U will be consider the strongest and the most skillful survivor

But if you are the first runner up, u will be disappointed
After all the rounds, the consistency, the hurdles and all the 'almost fail' rounds that u manage to fight for, u still the first runner up not the winner

It just took a single tiny cuboid of wooden block to destroy the whole imperfect, unstable building block that u have been maintaining all this time

If it's just the game, u might just...
"ohhh noooo!!
Arggggg"
And just laugh over it..

But
How if, we put this into a real life game?
Do u wanna give it a try?

So I believe that every single day, we all possibly have had some uncomfortable feelings right?

It's either miserable, anxious, deflated, frustrated, stress, overwhelming, angry, fatigue, etc.

Or it just me who always feeling that way? 🤣
It just there, mixing, accumulating inside and stay there for some particular moments

Sometimes it will be some threat here and there and the tears about to come over but like...
"No no..not yet..stay put..u got this", your inner voice started to play role

And...
at one break point, it will just...
Break down and all hell break loose~

Either you cry out loud, or u just yell and shout and some people tend to throw things and stuff
Depend on individual ways of expressing feelings

But when we looking back that moment when it had passed, or when we just settled down and feel better, we tend to feel
"Wait..
How that can happened?"

At this very moment, we then realized, every state of emotion, there must be something that triggers it to happen

and guess what..it's actually just the tiny little  thing that make us cry and break down and

the fact that, that tiny little thing didn't come alone to break us

Is it normal for a 20's something years old girl  crying over her spilled drink on the floor when she just about to leave

She aren't supposed to get irritated easily  just because of her shirt stuck at the doorknob in the morning

It's illogical if she cried just because her husband get her kueyteow tomyam instead of bihun tomyam she been craving for

Or when she gives up of preparing dinner altogether due to the glass jar lid that is too tight to open

It's irrational to see these scenario but it's actually exist around us

Have u watch a kdrama scene when a pregnant wife cry out loud just because she can't tie up her shoelace?
If I'm not mistaken that scene is from "Hometown Cha3" TV drama
The lady can't bend down to the ground due to her preggy belly
But why did she cried a river, cursing "stupid shoelace" and yelling his husband?
It just the shoelace 😅
I mean, do she really need to act dramatically because of the shoelace?
It's normal for a kid to react that way but she obviously a grownup fine woman

Well actually, the real reason of that tears is because she's too tired and exhausted
She fedup over her ignorance, unhelpful husband who take lightly of her pregnancy journey needs all these months pregnant phase
The innocent shoelace is consider her last reserved card

So let's say u see people crying over a petty issue, and thought they are being immature,
kindly..think again
Cuz u probably wrong

It's actually a set of feelings that bottling up within us

The tears is just very close underneath the surface, resting, waiting to be released out.

Just like the unstable building block that we build
It just takes a wooden cuboid to destroy all within a second ,
then..puffff!
All shattered into pieces

It does not destroyed because of that tiny cuboid that the player pull out
But indeed it destroyed because of unstable and the burden that the building carry on its back all this while

Just like us
The heaviness, the unsettle feelings, the fatigue,
the patience put into,  the hurdles
Everything is mounting onto us
That's why we can easily broken into pieces due to mere little things that we reserved for the last ⚘

Feeble

There is always a day when I feel kinda dysfunction, passive and not doing well

I'm neither proactive nor productive

Sometimes, I go thru some bad days
A lot of issues but need to be done in short period of times

But
Life is like that

I remember, those days when I need to settle something real quick
The time was chasing and I felt the pressure on my head
I even overwork extra 2 or 3 hours for several days in a row
That had given me fatigue

And one day, I need to take care of a case and it's so hard to find the solution
My laptop getting lagged most of the time and my internet connection suddenly spurned all of sudden

I was an inch to cry myself but slowly pull myself together and did my task accordingly

And at the end of day, I eventually settled everything and even contributed something to my team

I felt so contented and my heart felt light as feather
Just 30 minutes before, I was about to cry a river but suddenly I was completely oookay

Indeed, I'm feeble if Allah left me alone
But Allah is actually giving me a test for me to do better in my responsibly

Everyday I wake up with a sense to do better and improve myself
But the things that hold me is nothing but
less faith and discourage

I want do better but sometimes I just feel like doing the same things

I want to explore more but I refuse to sacrifice times and effort

But there's always a day when I just take it and do it
Whatever comes afterwards is a risk

But in every risk,
there's always an adventurous and challenged that will shape what kind of person I am then after🌙

How I spent my off-day

Kemain tajuk pun

nampak macam aku nak habaq y aku punya off day function teruks kan..?

Emmm..

Tapi hakikatnya gais..tak da function & productive sangat pun

Selalunya, off day, aku tidur, doing chores,

scroll talipon n main ngan kucing ja

BTW, 'Unproductive is Productive'

Aku rasa spend day kat rumah untuk rilex minda ni bukan bermaksud kita tak productive

Keluar rumah, bukan bermaksud kita komfem2 productive

Kadang2 kita kena recharge badan & otak

Dan introvert macam aku ni jenis tak berapa minat keluar

Sebab tu aku macam amaze bila tengok member2 aku, 

IG story depa, setiap minggu keluaq

Aku bukan apa..larat depa noh

Aku ni dah macam orang tua sebelum tua

Kalau 2 hari off day dan 1 hari aku keluar, 

1 hari esoknya aku akan memang lembik ja stay kat rumah

Macam qada rehat

Over noh..

Tapi memang gitu lah rutin aku hahhahaa

Tak tau la kenapa bila aku start enjin kereta dan keluar rumah, 

automatik rasa, seharian aku burn atas jalan

Sebab aku sangat berkira dengan hari cuti gaiss

Bagi aku, off day is stay at home and rest hahhha

Tapi minggu ni off day aku 4 hari, hari rabu ja kerja

So Isnin & Selasa aku spend time la dekat rumah, 

Khamis Jumaat pulak aku keluaq rumah

Demi menjadikan off day aku kelihatan function 

and well spent untuk Khamis & Jumaat, 

aku pun menapak la p Klinik Gigi pada hari Khamis 

& p Spa pada hari Jumaat 

Klinik Gigi Mahkota 🦷

Terletak di Pekan Baling, Kedah, lokasi sebelah kedai Zon Ria tu haa

Boleh cekidaut soini haaa.. 👉 Klinik Gigi Mahkota FB

Klinik ni klinik favourite aku kalau kat Pekan Baling ni

Dulu pernah scaling n cabut gigi geraham 

Aku ada story kat sini gais.. Cabut Gigi

Suasana sini kondusif dan hanya limit 8 orang saja dalam satu2 masa 

Masa aku p, cuma ada 2 patient saja 

Tak sampai 5 minit, dah sampai turn 

Sini service dia bes jugak ahh

Tak da rasa sakit lepas tu, memang clean

Sebab pernah aku buat kat klinik gigi tempat lain, lepas tu, masih ada darah2 dsb

Yang ni, okay la..

Depa dah tak buat whitening sebab katanya tak kekal lama dan patient kena maintain lama

So aku buat scaling & polish saja

Scaling ni proses untuk buang karang & plak yang melekat di dalam gigi kita

Agak painful sebab alat tu tajam dan kena gusi kita

Dapat ku rasakan keluar ayaq mata dihujung2 mataku kah3

Tahan ja la

Tapi memang sakit weh sebab kan gusi kita berdarah jugak sebab kena alat tu

Lepas tu buat polishing

Polishing ni untuk bersihkan gigi kita dari serpihan2 yang tertinggal dan kotoran

Dr akan guna 1 alat serupa berus kecil yang laju yang diletakkan ubat dan rasa dia macam pudina

Tak sakit pun proses tu cuma rasa geli2 sikit ja kat gusi

Dalam 20min, siap

Lepas tu dah tak da darah2 yang tinggal

Memang clean

Dr nasihatkan aku untuk jangan tinggal floss 

Mula2 buat memang akan darah2, lama2, takkan ada dah darah2 tu kalau selalu buat

Darah tu maksudnya gusi tak sihat, tak sihat sebab bacteria

So rajin2 kan lah floss

Teknik pun kena betuii

Aku dulu ada jugak buat tapi lama2 malas juga

Huhuhu..so kena start balik floss supaya gusi kita sihat..oyeah!!

Balik tu teruih singgah watson beli floss wkwkwkwk

So untuk rawatan scaling & polishing..

Total rawatan: rm130

Bagi aku mahai sikit dari dulu tapi bersesuaian jaa

Aku bagi 4 star.

Spa Sweet Rose (Kak Syidah) 💅

Tengok kat sini👉 Spa Sweet Rose FB 

Kakak aku si joyah tu haa dok bising2 suruh aku g spa tau tak

Dia suruh manjahhhkan diri, hilangkan stress katanya

Aku ni aloh lahhh..segho malahh nak tubik ghumoh hari cuti ni gak

Tapi aku give a try la kan

Biasalah..bila ada kakak ni, benda apa dia suruh buat, 

aku ni iiikut aja lah, walaupun selalu jugak membantah cadangannya, tetapi..

Memang dari kecik dah terbiasa mengikut apa yang kakak aku selalu buat 

Kecik2 dulu, aku memang mengikut 'seketing-seketing' apa dia buat

Dia pakai skirt bunga2, aku tukaq pakai skirt bunga2

dia pakai kasut bunyi2, aku nangis2 kat mak, nak kasut bunyi2 jugak

Dia belajaq pandai..aku pun nak challenge jugak

Dia tulis senget2, aku pun tiru

Sebab tu tulisan tangan kami, dua2 huduh 🤤

Lahhhh throwback pulak aku nih

Nak katanya..

begitu lah "sami'na wa ato'na" nya aku kepada kakak ku

So so so...aku pun p la Spa Rose tu 

Wajib buat appointment gais sebelum p

Spa ni pun dekat sangat

Weh!! bukan beshe2 dekatnya..sebelah2 rumah Chey (tokwan) aku ja, 

selang2 2 lorong dari rumah pakteh aku kat Kampung Sadek, 

tempat bermain sewaktu kecil

So meh la aku coret2 sikit review pasal spa ni

Spa ni betul2 sebelah gate masjid Kampung Sadek, Kupang, Baling ni haa

1 lot kedai, comel saja spa nya

Ada 1 ruang rawatan facial, badan 

& ada 1 sudut tertutup untuk sauna & mandian

Ada 1 sudut product2 homemade kat tepi pintu masuk

Ada kerusi menunggu kat tepi rak product tu

Simple saja decoration dia tapi sweet ja aku rasa

Dulu sebelum Covid19, Kak syidah ada buat service mobile spa kat rumah 

So diaa dah biasa mai rumah aku dah masa buat untuk kakak aku dulu 

Tapi sekarang tak buat mobile spa dah 

Dari segi privasi kat spa sini, aku rasa okay ja 

sebab Kak Syidah wajibkan appointment sebelum mai naa

So tak da la walk in kan..dan staff pun dia sorang saja

tak da gangguan or rasa segan2 masa rawatan..gituww

Sebab sebelum ni aku pernah teman kakak aku p spa kat pekan 

Dia banyak bilik dan ada dalam 3 orang staff 

so kalau customer or staff lalu2 tu, boleh ja jenguk2 bilik2 tu

Bagi aku macam tak berapa privasi duh 

Tapi spa ni bagi aku memang selesa jugak la

So aku buat rawatan: 

- Natural facial treatment + jade massage

- Sauna herba 

- Lulur badan kopi

- Rendaman kaki foot bubble herb

Untuk Sauna, aku buat 25 minit saja. normally 30 minit

Tapi aku kan festaim seumur hidup buat tu..so dipendekkan masa ituh

Aku suka sauna ni sebab dia bantu bukak pori kulit kita 

untuk memudahkn proses scrub yang selanjutnya

Dia rasa macam peluh banyak

Seolah2 kita berlari merentas desa gittuw 

Tapi kita kan belajaq dulu, wap ayaq menghasilkan cecair melalui proses condensation

So logik la wap ayaq tu pun membuatkan kita rasa kita berpeluh dan badan pun panas

Macam kita p Kolam Ayaq Panas Ulu Legong, panas2 tu memang soothing

Kak Syidah pun akann tanya2 la tengok kita tahan ka tak

Lain2 orang kan, lain2 experience..aku boleh tahan saja kepanasan tu 

So lepas siap sauna, proceed lulur kopi

Nanti aku listkan rawatan2 yang ada, banyak jugak tapi yang available harini, kopi

Manfaat lulur kopi ni baguih jugak

Ada elemen fenol, karbohidrat, mineral yang baguih 

untuk anti oxidant & lawan radikal bebas

Radikal bebas ni macam benda2 yang boleh merosakkan kulit kita

Bes betul kak syidah punya service 

memang keluaq semua sel kulit mati dan boleh rasa kulit makin lembut

Pastu ada urut2 belakang bahu & badan aku sikit 

Memang syok kena urut, rasa lega

Ya lah dok ngadap laptop saja buat kerja, angkat barang semua

Perempuan2, jaga2 gaiss

Jangan dok buat kerja berat tak tahuan sangat

Badan nak pakai lamaa

Urut tu...sumpah sakit weh tapi aku tahan ja la haha

Maybe sebab aku jarang diurut, selalu, aku urut orang lain

Tapi bila orang yang urut aku, memang rasa sakitnya

Yang lawaknya malam tu aku nak tidoq, dok kalih2 badan weh, 

sakit belakang macam baru hiking habaq hang

Pagi esoknya aku bangun tido, dok rasa sakit belakang sampai semput2 bernafas

haa sudah!!

Pastu aku buat teknik breathing depan cermin, tarik nafas & hembus

Buat beberapa kali 

& makan panadol dan ubat urat, alhamdulillah makin okay

Tapi jangan risau, 2-3 hari lepas tu okay 

Kalau sakit, kena habaq so nanti kak syidah tak da urut2 badan hangpa

Inilah penangan lama tak kena urut wkakakaka

Tips dia, selalu lah buat senaman ringan tambah2 orang yang kerja ngadap PC

Jangan statik kat 1 posture terlalu lama

Aku ni kalau focus buat satu benda, 

memang payah nak bangun even nak ejas speed kipas pun rasa malaih

So kena rajin2 senaman ringan so bila urut or buat activity berat, 

tak da la sendi2 hangpa terkejut macam aku

hahaha

Next,

Untuk natural facial treatment, mula2 kak syidah cuci muka aku dengan sabun muka

Aku tak ingat apa nama

Tapi semua product untuk facial ni semua homemade tauu

Organic belaka..

Cuci muka ni basically untuk buang dulu segala debu, debris, kotor2 kat muka kita

Lepas tu, aku tak ingat sama ada letak scrub dulu or clay mask dulu

Hahaha

Sebelum tu muka kita akan di wap dulu

Aku rasa suffocated sikit maybe sebab dekat sangat wap tu hahahaha

Tapi penting untuk bukak liang2 pori kat muka kita

Masa scrub tu, memang rasa semua impurities keluaq naa

Penting scrub ni, kena buat seminggu sekali atau 2 kali

Untuk buang sel2 kulit mati dsb

So tak da muka kita kusam kann

Pastu sesi membuang whitehead & blackhead 

Waduhh..kok nga ada yang warning ya sakit banget 🥴

Agak banyak juga di kawasan hidung & dagu

Alhamdulillah aku tak da masalah jerawat yang teruk di bahagian muka 

Maybe asbab makan C Berries kesayangankuhh

Sekarang memang aku focus nak hilangkan parut jerawat dan jeragat saja 

Yang tu memang susah gaiss 

Memang kena pakai skincare untuk treatment 

Kalau ada kulit bermasaalah & berjerawat, dinasihatkan supaya jangan buat facial teralu hampir dengan tarikh kawin gaiss

Sebab lepas buat tu, kulit akan merah2 sikit

So buat la maybe 5 hari sebelum 

Pastu kan aku kena tegur sebab picit jerawat yang kat dagu

hahhaha

Orang experience ni depa tengok pun boleh tau 

sama ada bekas jerawat tu picit ka biaq sampai kecut

Aku mengaku gaiss memang ada yang aku biaq masak & ada yang picit 

sebab aku tak sabaq2 nak hilangkan

last2 parut, uwargggghh!

Lepas tu clay mask, aku sangat suka bau dia wangi

Dalam tu ada extract bunga rose, beras pulut dll 

untuk kasi muka kita glowing & pinkish2 uwuuu

I loiik..bau2 dia macam bau bedak sejuk gituww

Dalam 10 minit, remove clay mask tu pastu cuci lagi sekali

Pegang2 muka, rasa licin dan bersih uyyooo!!

Then, letak serum, bau dia macam minyak gamat macam tu lah

Untuk last, ada buat jade massage 

Fungsi dia untuk kasi serap serum yang kita letak ke dalam kulit

Dan bagus untuk peredaran darah di muka kita

Maybe kalau hangpa selalu buat, 

muka hangpa akan jadi runcing macam Bella Hadid gittchuww

Pastu last, buat rawatan rendaman kaki herba

Untuk singkirkan toksin2

Aku tak sure keberkesananya tapi effect dia boleh jadi macam2

Ada yang rasa gatai2, peluh2 dll

Baguih jugak ni memang rasa soothing

Infra red tu akan buatkan kita rasa panas2 gitu

Syok jugak

So selesai lah 4 rawatan aku

-Natural facial treatment + jade massage

-Sauna herba 

-Lulur badan kopi

-Rendaman kaki foot bubble herb

Hangpa rasa2 berapa harga semuanya ya?

Haaa..ni aku nak habaq, untuk service tiptop macam ni, 

total aku dok pikiaq, mau dalam 300 kan

Tapi rm150  ja gaisss

Murah kan..memang murah dan affordable sangat

Toksah p spa lain, mai sini ja la..dekat pun dekat, 5-10 min ja drive dari rumah

heehehe

Aku beli 2 product homemade, clay mask rose & scrub herba

+rm27 saja

Yeyy..happy & satisfied, nanti kami mai lagi!

Begitulah kisah 2 hari yang ku rasakan sangat2 function 

Boleh la kan sekali sekala 

Nanti ingat nak ajak mak or kak ipaq mai pulak laa baru syok!

#selfcare 

#selflove 

Tomorrow

I fought
I tried
Don't act blind

What about my bad day that is still ongoing?
If can't fix it or cry ugly with me,
how about leave off
or at least avoid adding some more
into my tiny heavy heart

When I laughed,
it doesn't mean that it's easy

When I make people happy,
it doesn't mean that I'm smiling all the time

I don't want to stoop down and go low
I want to be better

My mental state
My emotional graph should at least go higher than yesterday

I'm trying to find my own peace
Please treat me better 😢