Middle Child

 

Frequently people talk about being the eldest, the second child & the youngest

But rarely I witness people talking about the middle child

Middle child is actually not always an easy path
*Anyway this is not a competition of who carry the heaviest tasks
just to spit the fact about middle child that people rarely highlight about 🤭

People might say that the path is easier since the elder siblings already pave the way for us to pass thru elegantly
Couldn't agree more

But become a middle child always need u to deal with inner conflict
Be it in emotional state or mental state
It is when u need to decide either u want to follow the path
or excell in your own way or choice in life

The common things I've heard either from other people's experience
or in drama is when middle child are treated like an option and comparisons
Either it is for good reason or other way around

Have u watch Reply 1988? I haven't finished it yet but Deok-Suns's heartbreaking scenes have been shared everywhere in my explore Instagram and Twitter

Her character pretty much tell us about the untold story of middle child's inner crisis that is developed by time
that so many people take lightly since the family seems to be uproblematic and the ambience feel warm with love from the parents

In spite of the happy-family image, there's a girl whose heart is piling up with lack of love and attention

It looks silly for a teenager to break into tears like that but it's heartbreaking at the same times


Some middle child always appear the happiest and unbother
but it takes too much courage and maturity to blend into the situation cuz they thought
"it's not that bad actually"

Regardless how much things u evolve around, how many achievements u manage to unlock,
u are just expected to be a spitting image of your elder sister and brother

There's like a ready-to-use template that u need to follow in order to become a decent human being is it?🤔

Not to mention, when u are young, u always need to wear the second-hand outfit that your elder siblings aren't fit any longer hahahaha

As for the latest generation,
the album of photo is all in the smartphone while the elder siblings got full physical printed album of baby's footage 🤣

Sometimes u seems rebellious when u argue the steps taken by the elder members
but the unknown shifting desire within yourself is gonna follow it anyway cuz u think it's easier this way

Nevertheless, not everything about middle child is saddening

Sometimes middle child will always learn from the elder in term surviving and
The elder might also help us escape from repeating the same failure that they had stepped on
It's like u just getting the "do and don't" tips
in advance
Surely they saved u so many times

Regardless which numbers are we in the family, there will always a silver  lining that we oftentimes mislook and might take it for granted so let us  just be grateful cuz at least we have everything
Parents, the elder and the younger

These create a beautiful story of your life getting to experience this middle-child position cuz some people wish to have other sisters or brothers either older or younger than them
These sweet memories will be the best gift to us, middle child 🥰

Cuboid

Have u heard about the theory of 

'a wooden brick that destroys the whole building'?

I found this quote/theory on Twitter but couldn't found where did I saw it
Not in my bookmark, my likes/retweet history, picture downloaded or screenshot
I even failed to trace the idiom in Google as well😆

That is so relatable that I feel like share it

So it's actually the wooden toy set that we used to play with when we're kids
I'm not sure if u guys did remember about this
But I did played this wooden brick with my siblings and cousin during childhood

Basically the players would consist of probably 5 person and we need to put 3 cuboid on the floor vertically and put some more on top of it horizontally and make the same arrangement for about 10 rows altogether * depends on how much wooden cuboid u have*
So the game start!

First person needs to pull out one of the cuboid very carefully so that the wooden building block does not collapse
Then the second player will take turn to pull another one

Let's say a player ruin the building block, he/she will immediately kicked out off the game 😆
The remaining players will build again the balance of the cuboid and the game keep repeating until there is only 1 player left with clean record and he/she will consider the winner
The final moment of the game is the most intense part

Usually, the survivors will start to make it harder for their opponents by erasing the bottom part of the wooden building so it will reduce the stability of ground surface of the whole structure 🤣
This got me nervous every freaking time
And by pulling just one cuboid either from top, from the side or bottom, could demolish the entire wooden blocks and the game ends ~
So gaisss

Let's say that u are the winner
U will be consider the strongest and the most skillful survivor

But if you are the first runner up, u will be disappointed
After all the rounds, the consistency, the hurdles and all the 'almost fail' rounds that u manage to fight for, u still the first runner up not the winner

It just took a single tiny cuboid of wooden block to destroy the whole imperfect, unstable building block that u have been maintaining all this time

If it's just the game, u might just...
"ohhh noooo!!
Arggggg"
And just laugh over it..

But
How if, we put this into a real life game?
Do u wanna give it a try?

So I believe that every single day, we all possibly have had some uncomfortable feelings right?

It's either miserable, anxious, deflated, frustrated, stress, overwhelming, angry, fatigue, etc.

Or it just me who always feeling that way? 🤣
It just there, mixing, accumulating inside and stay there for some particular moments

Sometimes it will be some threat here and there and the tears about to come over but like...
"No no..not yet..stay put..u got this", your inner voice started to play role

And...
at one break point, it will just...
Break down and all hell break loose~

Either you cry out loud, or u just yell and shout and some people tend to throw things and stuff
Depend on individual ways of expressing feelings

But when we looking back that moment when it had passed, or when we just settled down and feel better, we tend to feel
"Wait..
How that can happened?"

At this very moment, we then realized, every state of emotion, there must be something that triggers it to happen

and guess what..it's actually just the tiny little  thing that make us cry and break down and

the fact that, that tiny little thing didn't come alone to break us

Is it normal for a 20's something years old girl  crying over her spilled drink on the floor when she just about to leave

She aren't supposed to get irritated easily  just because of her shirt stuck at the doorknob in the morning

It's illogical if she cried just because her husband get her kueyteow tomyam instead of bihun tomyam she been craving for

Or when she gives up of preparing dinner altogether due to the glass jar lid that is too tight to open

It's irrational to see these scenario but it's actually exist around us

Have u watch a kdrama scene when a pregnant wife cry out loud just because she can't tie up her shoelace?
If I'm not mistaken that scene is from "Hometown Cha3" TV drama
The lady can't bend down to the ground due to her preggy belly
But why did she cried a river, cursing "stupid shoelace" and yelling his husband?
It just the shoelace 😅
I mean, do she really need to act dramatically because of the shoelace?
It's normal for a kid to react that way but she obviously a grownup fine woman

Well actually, the real reason of that tears is because she's too tired and exhausted
She fedup over her ignorance, unhelpful husband who take lightly of her pregnancy journey needs all these months pregnant phase
The innocent shoelace is consider her last reserved card

So let's say u see people crying over a petty issue, and thought they are being immature,
kindly..think again
Cuz u probably wrong

It's actually a set of feelings that bottling up within us

The tears is just very close underneath the surface, resting, waiting to be released out.

Just like the unstable building block that we build
It just takes a wooden cuboid to destroy all within a second ,
then..puffff!
All shattered into pieces

It does not destroyed because of that tiny cuboid that the player pull out
But indeed it destroyed because of unstable and the burden that the building carry on its back all this while

Just like us
The heaviness, the unsettle feelings, the fatigue,
the patience put into,  the hurdles
Everything is mounting onto us
That's why we can easily broken into pieces due to mere little things that we reserved for the last ⚘

Feeble

There is always a day when I feel kinda dysfunction, passive and not doing well

I'm neither proactive nor productive

Sometimes, I go thru some bad days
A lot of issues but need to be done in short period of times

But
Life is like that

I remember, those days when I need to settle something real quick
The time was chasing and I felt the pressure on my head
I even overwork extra 2 or 3 hours for several days in a row
That had given me fatigue

And one day, I need to take care of a case and it's so hard to find the solution
My laptop getting lagged most of the time and my internet connection suddenly spurned all of sudden

I was an inch to cry myself but slowly pull myself together and did my task accordingly

And at the end of day, I eventually settled everything and even contributed something to my team

I felt so contented and my heart felt light as feather
Just 30 minutes before, I was about to cry a river but suddenly I was completely oookay

Indeed, I'm feeble if Allah left me alone
But Allah is actually giving me a test for me to do better in my responsibly

Everyday I wake up with a sense to do better and improve myself
But the things that hold me is nothing but
less faith and discourage

I want do better but sometimes I just feel like doing the same things

I want to explore more but I refuse to sacrifice times and effort

But there's always a day when I just take it and do it
Whatever comes afterwards is a risk

But in every risk,
there's always an adventurous and challenged that will shape what kind of person I am then after🌙

How I spent my off-day

Kemain tajuk pun

nampak macam aku nak habaq y aku punya off day function teruks kan..?

Emmm..

Tapi hakikatnya gais..tak da function & productive sangat pun

Selalunya, off day, aku tidur, doing chores,

scroll talipon n main ngan kucing ja

BTW, 'Unproductive is Productive'

Aku rasa spend day kat rumah untuk rilex minda ni bukan bermaksud kita tak productive

Keluar rumah, bukan bermaksud kita komfem2 productive

Kadang2 kita kena recharge badan & otak

Dan introvert macam aku ni jenis tak berapa minat keluar

Sebab tu aku macam amaze bila tengok member2 aku, 

IG story depa, setiap minggu keluaq

Aku bukan apa..larat depa noh

Aku ni dah macam orang tua sebelum tua

Kalau 2 hari off day dan 1 hari aku keluar, 

1 hari esoknya aku akan memang lembik ja stay kat rumah

Macam qada rehat

Over noh..

Tapi memang gitu lah rutin aku hahhahaa

Tak tau la kenapa bila aku start enjin kereta dan keluar rumah, 

automatik rasa, seharian aku burn atas jalan

Sebab aku sangat berkira dengan hari cuti gaiss

Bagi aku, off day is stay at home and rest hahhha

Tapi minggu ni off day aku 4 hari, hari rabu ja kerja

So Isnin & Selasa aku spend time la dekat rumah, 

Khamis Jumaat pulak aku keluaq rumah

Demi menjadikan off day aku kelihatan function 

and well spent untuk Khamis & Jumaat, 

aku pun menapak la p Klinik Gigi pada hari Khamis 

& p Spa pada hari Jumaat 

Klinik Gigi Mahkota 🦷

Terletak di Pekan Baling, Kedah, lokasi sebelah kedai Zon Ria tu haa

Boleh cekidaut soini haaa.. 👉 Klinik Gigi Mahkota FB

Klinik ni klinik favourite aku kalau kat Pekan Baling ni

Dulu pernah scaling n cabut gigi geraham 

Aku ada story kat sini gais.. Cabut Gigi

Suasana sini kondusif dan hanya limit 8 orang saja dalam satu2 masa 

Masa aku p, cuma ada 2 patient saja 

Tak sampai 5 minit, dah sampai turn 

Sini service dia bes jugak ahh

Tak da rasa sakit lepas tu, memang clean

Sebab pernah aku buat kat klinik gigi tempat lain, lepas tu, masih ada darah2 dsb

Yang ni, okay la..

Depa dah tak buat whitening sebab katanya tak kekal lama dan patient kena maintain lama

So aku buat scaling & polish saja

Scaling ni proses untuk buang karang & plak yang melekat di dalam gigi kita

Agak painful sebab alat tu tajam dan kena gusi kita

Dapat ku rasakan keluar ayaq mata dihujung2 mataku kah3

Tahan ja la

Tapi memang sakit weh sebab kan gusi kita berdarah jugak sebab kena alat tu

Lepas tu buat polishing

Polishing ni untuk bersihkan gigi kita dari serpihan2 yang tertinggal dan kotoran

Dr akan guna 1 alat serupa berus kecil yang laju yang diletakkan ubat dan rasa dia macam pudina

Tak sakit pun proses tu cuma rasa geli2 sikit ja kat gusi

Dalam 20min, siap

Lepas tu dah tak da darah2 yang tinggal

Memang clean

Dr nasihatkan aku untuk jangan tinggal floss 

Mula2 buat memang akan darah2, lama2, takkan ada dah darah2 tu kalau selalu buat

Darah tu maksudnya gusi tak sihat, tak sihat sebab bacteria

So rajin2 kan lah floss

Teknik pun kena betuii

Aku dulu ada jugak buat tapi lama2 malas juga

Huhuhu..so kena start balik floss supaya gusi kita sihat..oyeah!!

Balik tu teruih singgah watson beli floss wkwkwkwk

So untuk rawatan scaling & polishing..

Total rawatan: rm130

Bagi aku mahai sikit dari dulu tapi bersesuaian jaa

Aku bagi 4 star.

Spa Sweet Rose (Kak Syidah) 💅

Tengok kat sini👉 Spa Sweet Rose FB 

Kakak aku si joyah tu haa dok bising2 suruh aku g spa tau tak

Dia suruh manjahhhkan diri, hilangkan stress katanya

Aku ni aloh lahhh..segho malahh nak tubik ghumoh hari cuti ni gak

Tapi aku give a try la kan

Biasalah..bila ada kakak ni, benda apa dia suruh buat, 

aku ni iiikut aja lah, walaupun selalu jugak membantah cadangannya, tetapi..

Memang dari kecik dah terbiasa mengikut apa yang kakak aku selalu buat 

Kecik2 dulu, aku memang mengikut 'seketing-seketing' apa dia buat

Dia pakai skirt bunga2, aku tukaq pakai skirt bunga2

dia pakai kasut bunyi2, aku nangis2 kat mak, nak kasut bunyi2 jugak

Dia belajaq pandai..aku pun nak challenge jugak

Dia tulis senget2, aku pun tiru

Sebab tu tulisan tangan kami, dua2 huduh 🤤

Lahhhh throwback pulak aku nih

Nak katanya..

begitu lah "sami'na wa ato'na" nya aku kepada kakak ku

So so so...aku pun p la Spa Rose tu 

Wajib buat appointment gais sebelum p

Spa ni pun dekat sangat

Weh!! bukan beshe2 dekatnya..sebelah2 rumah Chey (tokwan) aku ja, 

selang2 2 lorong dari rumah pakteh aku kat Kampung Sadek, 

tempat bermain sewaktu kecil

So meh la aku coret2 sikit review pasal spa ni

Spa ni betul2 sebelah gate masjid Kampung Sadek, Kupang, Baling ni haa

1 lot kedai, comel saja spa nya

Ada 1 ruang rawatan facial, badan 

& ada 1 sudut tertutup untuk sauna & mandian

Ada 1 sudut product2 homemade kat tepi pintu masuk

Ada kerusi menunggu kat tepi rak product tu

Simple saja decoration dia tapi sweet ja aku rasa

Dulu sebelum Covid19, Kak syidah ada buat service mobile spa kat rumah 

So diaa dah biasa mai rumah aku dah masa buat untuk kakak aku dulu 

Tapi sekarang tak buat mobile spa dah 

Dari segi privasi kat spa sini, aku rasa okay ja 

sebab Kak Syidah wajibkan appointment sebelum mai naa

So tak da la walk in kan..dan staff pun dia sorang saja

tak da gangguan or rasa segan2 masa rawatan..gituww

Sebab sebelum ni aku pernah teman kakak aku p spa kat pekan 

Dia banyak bilik dan ada dalam 3 orang staff 

so kalau customer or staff lalu2 tu, boleh ja jenguk2 bilik2 tu

Bagi aku macam tak berapa privasi duh 

Tapi spa ni bagi aku memang selesa jugak la

So aku buat rawatan: 

- Natural facial treatment + jade massage

- Sauna herba 

- Lulur badan kopi

- Rendaman kaki foot bubble herb

Untuk Sauna, aku buat 25 minit saja. normally 30 minit

Tapi aku kan festaim seumur hidup buat tu..so dipendekkan masa ituh

Aku suka sauna ni sebab dia bantu bukak pori kulit kita 

untuk memudahkn proses scrub yang selanjutnya

Dia rasa macam peluh banyak

Seolah2 kita berlari merentas desa gittuw 

Tapi kita kan belajaq dulu, wap ayaq menghasilkan cecair melalui proses condensation

So logik la wap ayaq tu pun membuatkan kita rasa kita berpeluh dan badan pun panas

Macam kita p Kolam Ayaq Panas Ulu Legong, panas2 tu memang soothing

Kak Syidah pun akann tanya2 la tengok kita tahan ka tak

Lain2 orang kan, lain2 experience..aku boleh tahan saja kepanasan tu 

So lepas siap sauna, proceed lulur kopi

Nanti aku listkan rawatan2 yang ada, banyak jugak tapi yang available harini, kopi

Manfaat lulur kopi ni baguih jugak

Ada elemen fenol, karbohidrat, mineral yang baguih 

untuk anti oxidant & lawan radikal bebas

Radikal bebas ni macam benda2 yang boleh merosakkan kulit kita

Bes betul kak syidah punya service 

memang keluaq semua sel kulit mati dan boleh rasa kulit makin lembut

Pastu ada urut2 belakang bahu & badan aku sikit 

Memang syok kena urut, rasa lega

Ya lah dok ngadap laptop saja buat kerja, angkat barang semua

Perempuan2, jaga2 gaiss

Jangan dok buat kerja berat tak tahuan sangat

Badan nak pakai lamaa

Urut tu...sumpah sakit weh tapi aku tahan ja la haha

Maybe sebab aku jarang diurut, selalu, aku urut orang lain

Tapi bila orang yang urut aku, memang rasa sakitnya

Yang lawaknya malam tu aku nak tidoq, dok kalih2 badan weh, 

sakit belakang macam baru hiking habaq hang

Pagi esoknya aku bangun tido, dok rasa sakit belakang sampai semput2 bernafas

haa sudah!!

Pastu aku buat teknik breathing depan cermin, tarik nafas & hembus

Buat beberapa kali 

& makan panadol dan ubat urat, alhamdulillah makin okay

Tapi jangan risau, 2-3 hari lepas tu okay 

Kalau sakit, kena habaq so nanti kak syidah tak da urut2 badan hangpa

Inilah penangan lama tak kena urut wkakakaka

Tips dia, selalu lah buat senaman ringan tambah2 orang yang kerja ngadap PC

Jangan statik kat 1 posture terlalu lama

Aku ni kalau focus buat satu benda, 

memang payah nak bangun even nak ejas speed kipas pun rasa malaih

So kena rajin2 senaman ringan so bila urut or buat activity berat, 

tak da la sendi2 hangpa terkejut macam aku

hahaha

Next,

Untuk natural facial treatment, mula2 kak syidah cuci muka aku dengan sabun muka

Aku tak ingat apa nama

Tapi semua product untuk facial ni semua homemade tauu

Organic belaka..

Cuci muka ni basically untuk buang dulu segala debu, debris, kotor2 kat muka kita

Lepas tu, aku tak ingat sama ada letak scrub dulu or clay mask dulu

Hahaha

Sebelum tu muka kita akan di wap dulu

Aku rasa suffocated sikit maybe sebab dekat sangat wap tu hahahaha

Tapi penting untuk bukak liang2 pori kat muka kita

Masa scrub tu, memang rasa semua impurities keluaq naa

Penting scrub ni, kena buat seminggu sekali atau 2 kali

Untuk buang sel2 kulit mati dsb

So tak da muka kita kusam kann

Pastu sesi membuang whitehead & blackhead 

Waduhh..kok nga ada yang warning ya sakit banget 🥴

Agak banyak juga di kawasan hidung & dagu

Alhamdulillah aku tak da masalah jerawat yang teruk di bahagian muka 

Maybe asbab makan C Berries kesayangankuhh

Sekarang memang aku focus nak hilangkan parut jerawat dan jeragat saja 

Yang tu memang susah gaiss 

Memang kena pakai skincare untuk treatment 

Kalau ada kulit bermasaalah & berjerawat, dinasihatkan supaya jangan buat facial teralu hampir dengan tarikh kawin gaiss

Sebab lepas buat tu, kulit akan merah2 sikit

So buat la maybe 5 hari sebelum 

Pastu kan aku kena tegur sebab picit jerawat yang kat dagu

hahhaha

Orang experience ni depa tengok pun boleh tau 

sama ada bekas jerawat tu picit ka biaq sampai kecut

Aku mengaku gaiss memang ada yang aku biaq masak & ada yang picit 

sebab aku tak sabaq2 nak hilangkan

last2 parut, uwargggghh!

Lepas tu clay mask, aku sangat suka bau dia wangi

Dalam tu ada extract bunga rose, beras pulut dll 

untuk kasi muka kita glowing & pinkish2 uwuuu

I loiik..bau2 dia macam bau bedak sejuk gituww

Dalam 10 minit, remove clay mask tu pastu cuci lagi sekali

Pegang2 muka, rasa licin dan bersih uyyooo!!

Then, letak serum, bau dia macam minyak gamat macam tu lah

Untuk last, ada buat jade massage 

Fungsi dia untuk kasi serap serum yang kita letak ke dalam kulit

Dan bagus untuk peredaran darah di muka kita

Maybe kalau hangpa selalu buat, 

muka hangpa akan jadi runcing macam Bella Hadid gittchuww

Pastu last, buat rawatan rendaman kaki herba

Untuk singkirkan toksin2

Aku tak sure keberkesananya tapi effect dia boleh jadi macam2

Ada yang rasa gatai2, peluh2 dll

Baguih jugak ni memang rasa soothing

Infra red tu akan buatkan kita rasa panas2 gitu

Syok jugak

So selesai lah 4 rawatan aku

-Natural facial treatment + jade massage

-Sauna herba 

-Lulur badan kopi

-Rendaman kaki foot bubble herb

Hangpa rasa2 berapa harga semuanya ya?

Haaa..ni aku nak habaq, untuk service tiptop macam ni, 

total aku dok pikiaq, mau dalam 300 kan

Tapi rm150  ja gaisss

Murah kan..memang murah dan affordable sangat

Toksah p spa lain, mai sini ja la..dekat pun dekat, 5-10 min ja drive dari rumah

heehehe

Aku beli 2 product homemade, clay mask rose & scrub herba

+rm27 saja

Yeyy..happy & satisfied, nanti kami mai lagi!

Begitulah kisah 2 hari yang ku rasakan sangat2 function 

Boleh la kan sekali sekala 

Nanti ingat nak ajak mak or kak ipaq mai pulak laa baru syok!

#selfcare 

#selflove