Fog

I'm still not gaining interest towards life.

All my heart, soul and mind still desist in the same imaginary world.

I can't tell exactly where I am at.
My mind is not completely hazing but it's ambiguous.
It's hard to escape from an imaginary world into a real world.

But I seem o k a y.

Yes I apparently look o k a y.

Alhamdulillah
Allah helps me out
The prayer that I have been reciting all this while,
seems to be granted 

Slowly but surely 

I certain that.

My 'Big Why' suddenly sparks a light to my dark sight
that it drove me to stand again,
continue what was stuck before.

I'm slowly regaining my previous state of mind and soul!☺️

So how?

Sounds like an achievement? Isn't it?

But wait.

Don't feel amuse yet.

Getting back my faith and so called 'courage'.

No.
There is nothing to do with courage, chums.

It's mere 'survival'.
Survival of a piece of mind and soul considering..
"being productive as a worthwhile life"
At least, I do feel contented for the very first time after a long period of desolation.
So I can consider it as a little success.

Allah is aiding me so much more than what I prayed for.

I feel ashamed towards His Mercy.

I'm not deserve this.

I'm effortless 

I'm worthless 

I can't even fight for myself to the fullest 

But this is all I can show to Him

How embarrassing was that?

But Allah, still wanting to help me out by giving this spark of light.

Light is a Hope.

Hope that can assist me to be better.

Sometimes, u will realise that u aren't becoming a person u used to be before.

It's nearly impossible to get back to the usual track.

But in order to live forward,
u should get a grip of yourself,
take whatever reasons u might see in front and persistent forth.

Even the reason u might see in front seems peculiar but at least,
u can straighten the bent knees,
brushing your back of hand on your wet cheek, 
clean the bruises on your palm
and look up to the sky again.

But still...

* read the first line again.*