MORNING GLORY

 

The sunrise pours it's first ray light
over the greenery grass
Alhamdulillah
Another dawn from Him

I saw pearls of dew on the flowers petals
My front yard is full of ebullient colourful flowers planted by my green fingers parents

I heard the bird chirping with their own unique symphony
They begin to awaken started early in the morning
They were like passing message to each other with their own language and it sounds like
Sending>Receiving>Replying
It syncs pretty well
Probably telling each other about where to hunt for food in their territory
The tweeting sound is so mysterious
Might also indicate freedom and pleasant day coming
Oh Allah!
This is too beautiful to be described into word

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Several months ago,
all I heard is
vehicle honking and moving
Loud ambulance or police sirens is like a regular melody I have been listening once in a day
Started my boring morning routine talking to no one after my roomie went out for work

I stared at the TV and steal a glimpse at the clock
Ohh, got few hours before my shift started

Doing laundry and hanging clothes
Put my hijab on and changed to my long sleeve favourite jersey
Staggering my feet to the kitchen
"Hoi hoi..ehemm!!"
Clearing throat cause my voice sounds like an ageing cat whining for food
Opening my fridge and see nothing but leftovers food and an ounce of expired milk
Yes! Exactly. Why on earth that I still left empty container in fridge
Either me or my roomie did that hahahah
Picking up all the unused items
put together along my rubbish at the corner to ease my job later
Pushed elevator's button to 'LG' and heading outside from the apartment units
I walked alone on the road side with my bent rib grey umbrella
It's 80% perfectly functioning
My beautiful classy umbrella was left at my office so I got no choice but to utilise this inadequate umbrella for the sake of UV light protection

Arrived at the shops lot after 10 minutes leisure walking
Went to the wet market getting some vegetables and grocery at the Muslim grocery store outside

Getting some food for 3 days and went back home

Puzzling my items in my fridge took me a while
Then after, I cooked simple dish and rest

I rarely cooked and usually ordered from
e-hailing system, waiting my door knocked to receive my dinner or lunch set
The reasons is nothing much
Either I'm lazy, tired, got no enough time or no mood at all
It's dangerous as I believe in food to make me happier and feeling contented
This habit is risky for my pocket and my belly

And the life goes....
Getting my work done, eating, looking outside of the window from level 10,
chatting with my roomie, updating social media, praying and sleeping ~

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So that's it
I'm truly apologise if u wait for some tips or inspiring daily journey of mine cause I can't serve u one

It's pretty much the same for daily practice
My life is just simple and nothing exciting to be flexed to the public or acquaintance

I'm a "makan gaji" employee who doing part time small online business

I always thought that I'm not a person to be look up to
I'm a person who sometimes has no avid ambition, clear career path or big dream
I'm a laidback girl who used to grab whatever come first

At certain point in my life, I lost motivation to start over
I'm not easily to hold up when I'm at the edge of cliff
Sometimes when I fell to the ground, I'm clueless, unable to clean my own bruise
Just waiting for rescue team to come over

I was once paralyzed, spiritually
My emotions is easy to be killed by surrounding
That is why I started to keep my circle small
Begin to unsee anything that could stir me up

I could pretend like nothing happened
I did my job imperfectly fine and laid in my bed then after
I feels like I have been doing the same routine and less talking to human being for the past months
It makes me trapped in my little bubble
I may looks hella fine but my heart,
yearning for peaceful and warm attention from my parents and family after months stranded on the other side of the world
due to pandemic

I wrote a line in my entry on my 26th birthday
Something like.."...all I wanted is spending more times with my parents, helping them doing chores or running errands.."
I remembered writing that line with an emotional feeling
At that time, I do not have any big dream
I just want to go back home town for some fresh ambiance
Some different sight, different vibes and different lifestyles


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Months after, I suddenly got chance to go back hometown due to some personal reason
It was so unpredictable
Starting from that, I have been 'working from kampung'
My routine changed, my sight changed and everything seems brand new

Alhamdulillah, I got chance to fast and Raya with my family
During Ramadhan I always make specific dua non stop
In that period of time, my courage lit up as I finally got my own dream, I clearly see what I want and desire in my life
I put in in a proper sentence and recite it every day and night

But, when the day passed by, I realized that my du'a seems not be granted
I slowly seldom reciting that same dua' then after as I feel, maybe it's my fate that Allah did not allow me to have what I wanted

Then I continued my days with less hoping for what I have been wishing before
I enjoy my day, spending my precious time with family as if nothing happened
But deep inside I feel quite sorrowful especially when I'm suddenly thinking of that particular thing that triggers me

Few days ago, while texting with my besties, I told her that if someone ask me if I'm happy, I would definitely say
"I'm happy". That is because without realizing, Allah actually has granted my du'a that I recite, last year.
I currently enjoying spending time with my parents which I had never experienced during my young age as I always lived far away from them since 13 years old
I was touched by her word of wisdom when she said..
"Allah listening to our du'a and will grant our dua' at the perfect time one by one"

I feel slapped on my face as I was once has feelings that Allah ignores my wish and I even feel give up of making dua' just because Allah didn't give what I want according to my timing

I was so wrong to think that way
How could I assume that the One who loves me the most, neglecting my du'a
While He is the one concerns about me and never left me behind

Allah The Most Merciful granted my wish that I made last year
which I currently enjoying

Living with my parents is the biggest bless this year that I have nothing to lose anymore ❤



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I'm smiling while taking picture of flowers in my front yard
This is a blessing that fleetingly gives me immense pleasure❤