Transparent

Someone I knew, is unsure if she is being transparent 

when it comes to expressing feelings

She believed that sometimes, thing is better left unsaid 

She barely hold that in her inner self and it's better that way

The things is, she usually unable to derive and identifying

Sometimes she just there, on her prayer mat and asking the God to show her a way of figuring out things

She usually hate misinterpretation from the third party

It's not that she is being narcissistic 

She just can't handle wrong interpretation

People feeling pity to her when she don't intend to earn pity by her story

People thought she is lonely and giving unwanted advice when she just need an ear to listen

That person previously mistakenly express her inner thought 

Either she is being naïve or her mind was totally messed up

How naïve she is, thinking that people will understand her

It is nearly impossible for anyone to understand her

Even other person didn't understand themselves

I adore her when she keep pulling through

I adore her when she is okay to keep something to herself and she is fine with that

I adore her when she realize that explaining is weighing down the existing mess

Finding proper phrase is burdening 

Most of the time, she keep everything to herself

Call her stingy and she totally don't care

She don't said things like..

"I love u"

"I miss u"

"I wonder if u are doing fine"

or sort of cringe things 

But what she did is, she just stared idly to a name in their last conversation for some seconds

and murmuring...

"I-miss-u-idiot"

Without batting her eye, 

she then casually deleted their last conversation right away,

touched the back arrow, 

put down her phone on the desk 

and continuing her work

She is my best reference 

She lives her life to the fullest and she don't regret

It's her choice and no one can't change her

When someone try to amend her stand, she then wondering, 

if is it a crime to keep it secret because....