Didik

 The funniest things in parenting

I always make du’a to Allah to ease me in my parenting, guiding my son.

I really hope the he can listen to me whenever I teach good things

*clear throat * of course only geewwd things (we shall discuss it later) 🫢

I tend to avoid doing unpleasant things in front of him and portrays wise behaviour in order to become a role model for him.

But days by days I keep getting feeling.. I noticed that 

turns out, he’s the one who has been teaching me about laifffff 😭

I have never feel impatient and exhausted in my whole life but I noticed the moment I was pregnant until he came out and even at current moment, my patience is getting tested to the max 

The things is, I have no idea that I’m that mature/wise Idk but surprisingly I managed to get over it 

With effort ..yes!

I put so much courage & effort to be able to calm down whenever I feel my chest is pounding even at the very moment, my tears already rolling down my cheeks.

I suddenly handle my anger diligently and hold myself from yelling (read screaming)

There is so much pressured emotion that piling up in me 

I fear of him getting influenced on my way of expressing feelings 

I worry that my every reactions will left scar in his mind 

All of these fears or possibly inspiration pushed me to be a better person and he’s the one who actually teach me that. Thanks my baby Ali💕

“It’s cruel to appear almost perfect even tho u covered with so much flaws”

Me & my little guru

Masa Muda

Me in 2018

 “Bersyukur & nak lebih”- encik suami, 2023

“I’d never thought that I will stay in same place for over 7 years.”- current me.

In 2017, I’d secured my first corporate job after passed the very first in-person interview.

I even yet graduated that time and remembered that i'd my convocation 2 months after started my job.

The 1 to 1 session was not intense at all even tho the interviewer embodied an A-type personality. (ykiyk)

However, those 30 minutes in there, still managed to give me sweat palm & anxiousness like normal people do in such situation🥵

So what is the role?

Considering the experience of developing an android apps during my thesis, 

I’d been offered as a Junior Apps Developer and will be placed under Development team.

So....

the nightmare begun.

yeahh! that's right.

I flopped! Totally flops. It's not something pleasing to hear. I know right.

Me neither.

It was a hurt truth moments in life as I’d completely had no idea what am I doing. 

It was like falling into a deep hollow, screaming inside. What a misery.

I was dumbfounded & questioned my existence every single day. It such a terrible experience but I went thru it anyway as orang lama2 once said:

“take whatever jobs u first landed”, 

“anak muda jangan memilih kerja”

I mean…they’re not wrong at all!

I agreed. If u gave up the very first opportunity u had, it shall never come back.

That explained why I still took it even tho only God knows how much i avoided anything related to it since university.

As long as it's not giving redflag working places, do take it, buddy!

It's hard as for me, but I had never regretted accepting the job for so many reasons.

Fast forward, after 8 months went thru roller coster emotional riding and irregular heartbeat before sleeping at every single night, i gave up!!

Yes I’m done programming. 

After thorough consideration I’d decided to went thru an assessment interview and finally migrated into other departments in the same company, 

which I’m currently serving. 

Such a rizk, they opened a vacancy!

This new place is wayyy more promising, alhamdulillah , I eventually felt fully utillised and valued.

I’m doing operation which allowed me to perform data analysis, engineering thingy which I started built interest into.

And I can't believed I still doing it until current moment.

I came to realized, we just want an exitement every day. Not just a plain distress which lead us no where.

I do feel pressured as sometimes my job required an immediate response and feels like bomb is ticking behind my ears.

I do make silly mistakes which led to unpleasant consequences. But that's actually what built me as a person.

Knowing what's wrong and growing my potential.

Doing less, u're likely to be safe.

Take it extra, u'll make mistake, but the lesson u acquired, is another story. 

I chose the later.

People around me been teasing on how devote I’m in the same place while all of my work besties flew to another different corporate working places.

I cuckles, cuz..damn!

It feels like just yesterday we were like...together.. and now everyone leaving in separate ways.

This paragraph remarks the end of my humble sharing regarding my journey.

In the midst of hectic commitment as a working mom, I remember my husband once said, 

“Bersyukur & nak lebih”. 

This is such a simple yet very meaningful concept that keeps me persevere and keeps going.

Whatever we are facing, there's always an opportunity to be the better version of ourself right after.💕